Fashion & Beauty

The worst boob-bloopers on the beach (and my solutions!)

by marlies|dekkers

Do you recognize any of these classic bikini #FAILS? Don’t worry! Because my swimwear comes in actual cup sizes -rather than just small, medium, large- I have a very specific solution for each problem (call it bikini-science). You’ve got this!

1. The ‘Quadraboob’
Wow, you’ve got 4 boobs! Oh no wait, it’s 2 boobs, spilling over your cup (straight into your ice cream cone).
Solution: Since your cup literally ‘runneth over’, you should try a bigger cup size. For example, 80E instead of 80D.

2. The ‘High Rider’
The back of your bikini top is riding up. Which is a bummer, especially when you’re riding the waves!
Solution: The problem is that the underbust is too wide. Try a bikini top with a smaller under bust size. For example: 70E instead of 75D.

3. The ‘Side boob’
The wires in the side of your cup are sitting on your boob rather than your rib cage, creating spillage on the sides.
Solution: If the problem is in the underwire, the problem is in the cup; the two are connected. Definitely try a bigger cup size: 85E instead of 85D for example.

4. The ‘Super Drooper’
Oh no! Your boobs look sad and lonely in a bikini top that doesn’t seem to offer any support.
Solution: Check your shoulder straps, you might need to make them tighter. The same goes for your underbust; is it too wide? Then again, the problem might be in the type of cups; for proper support I suggest good quality molded cups. Like the ones I developed for my brand! Just saying…

5. Boobs in space
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s your boobs, floating in space because the underwire of your bikini top is not touching your ribcage.
Solution: First, the obvious: are your shoulder straps too tight? Loosen them a little to see what happens. Then, bend forward till your boobs fall into the cups, and shake while you hold the underwire firmly (doesn’t that feel good?). Still no luck? Try a bigger cup, for example 70B instead of 70A.

Marlies Dekkers