This is a snippet that I found from EJ Love’s Facebook page. With her permission I was allowed to post this here because I really do think she provides a valuable service to men. I think more men need to hear what she has to say.
You can also find her website here
So I’ve been noticing lately a big commonality with the men that come to see me who struggle with some sort of erectile dysfunction.
- Almost all of them have been cheated on
- All of them have been emasculated by their partners or ex-partners
- Many of them currently have hardly any intimacy in their life (with or without partners)
- All of them feel like less of a man.
- Lacking confidence.
- Lacking sexual self-esteem which underpins all of their self-esteem.
- Feeling like they have completely lost their mojo.
“What happened to them they wonder? Where did they lose it? There must be something wrong with me? Perhaps I am just getting older. It wasn’t always this way? Please tell me this can be fixed?”
I reassure them, that yes it can be fixed. I prefer to go with the word healed. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with these men. In fact, 40% of men in their 40s have ED. It is extremely common, yet we don’t talk about it. Instead we hide it and shame it and we emasculate them even more for it.
They are emasculated by society, they are emasculated by women and other men and mostly they emasculate themselves. They are so hard on themselves and their self-shaming then leads to more sexual dysfunction! And then the issues get worse, they get more down on themselves, less self-esteem, less confidence, more lack of worthiness and so on…
Can you see the vicious shame cycle here?
It can end up effecting their whole life!
It can effect all of their relationships. They may start avoiding intimacy all together. They don’t want to disappoint their lover. They may get addicted to porn, masturbating or escorts. Hoping that this will make them feel better. But in the end it only ends up frustrating them more. They end up feeling disappointed and get down on themselves. Sometimes even leading to depression. They may feel like it is a lost cause. Again, feeling like less of man.
Then they try viagra, sprays and/or pills, which is only treating the effect not the cause.
This is only a quick fix and will not make change things long term.
Because the cause is EMOTIONAL.
Yes. That’s right, all sexual issues generally stem from emotions that they have numbed for years. This is because men are conditioned to not be emotional. To not allow themselves to feel. Because they have been taught that it is weak to feel sadness, disappointment, hurt and even cry.
But men don’t usually come to me asking for help with their emotions though, they come to me because they want to be a better lover, they want to be confident again, they want their mojo back, they want to be able to fully make love to a woman and provide her with amazing pleasure and orgasms!
Ultimately, they want to feel like a man again!!
I ask them questions, like:
“When did this first start happening?” and generally we will pinpoint a time where they were emasculated, betrayed, abandoned and/or rejected.
It could have been happening their whole life! You see ED is linked to all of these emotions. I listen carefully to the words they use to describe what’s happened in their life, which is usually where I identify where and how they have been emasculated. They have often never heard anyone identify this before and link it all up and then it all makes sense to them.
Like a lightbulb going off!
No wonder they have not been feeling like a man, right?
This is why the work I do is so important.
Because it is through the sexual issues that men will feel safe to access their emotions.
And I hold space for them to do this by being understanding, empathetic, by listening, by acknowledging, by appreciating and recognising their greatness, which I see in each man that comes to see me.
I feel tears well up in me as I write these words. Because I really do see their greatness, it’s magnificent.
Men are amazing creatures!
It is my purpose to help them feel and see how amazing they are too. So not only does helping them to heal sexual issues help them to be a better lover, but it gives them their confidence back, it gives them greater self-esteem, it clears past resentments so they can have a more connected intimate relationship, it heals their shame and makes them feel worthy, it liberates them from emasculation, it opens their hearts and it makes them feel like a man again!
It is then like a ripple effect out into their whole life, everyone in it and the world around them.
So you are probably wondering exactly what I do with men to help them with this?
Well, there is a lot that I do! I should probably do a live stream on this and I will do one day soon.
In the meantime though I will share with you one thing that I’ve been exploring and is a very powerful Sexual Initiation Ritual. I have to say these are the most awakening, transformational sessions I have done with men to date.
There is an initial coaching session so I can identify the emotional blocks and then I give them some pre-work to be done before they come for the sexual initiation tantric bodywork session.
The pre-work is where I have the man focus on clearing underlying blame and resentment from being emasculated, abandoned, rejected and/or shamed, depending on what their issues are. This requires some journalling and clearing this out of the body through some emotional release tools and tantric practices.
We will then go into a 3 hour Tantra Sexual Initiation Ritual, effectively taking them from emasculation into empowerment, initiating them from boy into man, like a right of passage. This is the role of a Sacred Sexual Priestess, to initiate men into their greatness and to open their hearts!
It is such an honor to hold space for this.
So if this resonates and you are struggling with any sexual, emotional or relationship issues and feel called to be initiated please PM me. Even if we are not in the same area I can still coach you via Skype and then refer you to one of my sista priestesses in your area for bodywork if I feel you need it.
Women, if you feel called to do Sacred Sexual Priestess work and initiate men please PM me.
I am extremely passionate about this work and I believe it is the key to sexually liberating men, opening their hearts and transforming their relationships.