When we feel connected to our partner, everything in life tends to flow more easily. We feel happy, we feel content, we feel like we can take on the world together.
But staying connected to our partner amongst the craziness of life can be a challenge.
Many couples struggle to maintain their love and connection when life gets busy – and they notice the effects on their relationship. Sometimes, little things start niggling arguments, or they never seem to resolve important discussions. Sometimes, they feel like they’re just two ships passing in the night or that they’ve become more like housemates than lovers.
Feeling disconnect is one of the most common reasons couples seek my support as a coach.
I love seeing the way couples look at each other when they begin to reconnect again, the smile on their faces when they tell me how close they’re feeling and the cheeky grins they give me when they discover their passion returning. Often in our work together they tell me they’ve discovered a deeper intimacy than they knew before.
Our relationships thrive when we give them attention.
This doesn’t need to be hard work and it doesn’t need to take hours of your time. Going away for a romantic weekend together is a beautiful idea, but isn’t a possibility for many couples.
The suggestions I’m giving to you here, have the power to help you connect in a short amount of time.
Each one can be done in 15 minutes or less, which means you can easily slide them into your day.
Just 15 minutes can make the world of difference to your relationship and your whole family.
1. Get closer with a Melting Hug
Attentive physical touch causes our bodies to release oxytocin, a hormone that makes us feel loving and connected. It also lowers cortisol (stress hormone) levels and slows our heart rate which helps us to feel more relaxed.
Hugging helps us feel more loving and less stressed.
Not only does hugging help us feel close and connected, we are less likely to react in arguments because we are more relaxed.
The Melting Hug is more than a quick squeeze. You’re going to spend 5-15 minutes in a loving embrace with each other. You can by lying down, sitting or standing for this hug.
The key here is to also be present with your beloved. There’s no need to talk as you hug each other, but simply focus on feeling your bodies pressed against each other. You’ll probably notice your breathing slow down and your bodies relax.
I suggest playing some music in the background or even setting a timer so you’re not tempted to cut your hug short.
2. Stop everything and be present
When was the last time you put everything down, had no distractions and just looked at each other in the eyes? It sounds simple, but when we’re busy, this powerful form of connection can get lost.
Setting aside a short amount of time to give each other your full attention and talk is a powerful way to remind one another just how important your relationship is. You might try holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes as you talk.
Set aside every-day logistics, and ask each other ‘How was your day? How are you?’
Talking and listening to each other about the events of the day and how you’re feeling after these, reminds you both that you’re more than ships passing in the night, you’re friends and lovers too.
3. Share Appreciation to build love, trust + intimacy
Sharing appreciation with your partner is one of the most effective ways I know to bring connection, harmony and happiness to a relationship.
When we’re feeling appreciation for something, we’re also feeling love and gratitude – both powerful forces for change. And the feeling of being appreciated by someone is a be beautiful feeling.
Showing your partner appreciation, helps them to feel loved and valued. Heartfelt appreciation is a great antidote if you find you’re taking each other for granted. It helps to keep both parties focused on the positives of the relationship.
My clients often find that the more they look for ways to appreciate their partner, the more positive things they notice.
I have a wonderful game that I teach couples to play to share appreciation with each other share love and appreciation. Learn The Appreciation Game and discover more ways to connect with your partner by signing up to your free download.