If you haven’t checkout out my video “What to do when he goes hot then cold.”, then I highly suggest you add that to your weekly bucket list.
It’s a heady feeling when we meet a guy that we actually connect with. Let’s face it, having an awesome date is an exciting thing and it already makes us crave the next one.
But what happens when after some time, he starts to go a little distant?
You know that yucky feeling we get in our gut that says “hey girl this ain’t normal, that boy is acting weird?!” …to which if course we ask him directly “Is everything alright?” and in which he replies “yeah, all good …” Which is translation for not good at all.
It makes us anxious. Our head is trying not to over analyse or over react but our heart is screaming “this is gonna hurt, he is aborting the mission!!”
We usually go into panic mode and start chasing him, and putting in even more effort or spend time convincing and justifying, much to our disadvantage.
So, what if I could literally tell you what to do to get him to NOT pull back…but when he does what to do and say to get him to COME back?
You see the brilliant part about my job is that I work with male clients. So, I get to hear first-hand their side of the story.
“You see your reaction to his actions is key. It’s what you do AFTER he has pulled back that will determine two things a) whether he is the right man for you or b) if he will continue to retreat of come back faster than you think!”
This isn’t about manipulation or playing games, it’s about understanding how men work and not letting your own fears and natural emotional reactions get the better of you in this situation.
So, let me give you a couple of positive and negative responses:
He Texts: “Sorry really been really busy, not sure when I can meet up again.”
Negative responses to text:
1: “Oh really, that’s funny because I saw that you were active online, so I guess you aren’t too busy to answer other messages?!” – Crazy Stalker Lady
2: “Oh ok, I understand, well does Friday work for you? Or maybe Monday? What are you doing on the weekend, would love to still see you. I miss you, I got you a cute little gift I want to give to you” – Doormat Lady
3: “Ok no worries I understand”
*2 minutes later*
“Actually, I don’t understand, why are you being so nice to me and then all of a sudden you are saying you are ‘too busy’?! Well you know what I am too busy for you and I am too good for you, I deserve more. I deserve a man who wants to commit. You have just lost the best girl in your life!?”
*2 seconds later*
“I mean I just think we had a good thing and should give it a try …I feel we connected, I miss you.”
*1 hour later *
“F#@k you!” – Crazy-all-over-the-shop Insecure Lady
Now let’s look at some positive things to text and do:
1:“Ok no worries at all, have a great week.” – The cool, calm, classy woman.
2:*waits a day to respond* “Oh sorry for late reply, no dramas at all, hope you aren’t working too hard!”
– The woman who has a purpose outside of him.
3: “Sorry, who is this? Must have lost your number 🙂 ”
“Tim is this you? Oh, sorry I deleted your number as I hadn’t heard from you for a week and just assumed that aliens had taken you back to Mars” – The smart funny woman
Now clearly you can see there is a massive difference between these negative and positive responses.
One is based on insecurity and the other is on self-worth and confidence of what she knows a healthy standard should be.
So, which one are you?