Sex Toys & lifestyle products

Your Everything Guide to Essential Oils in the Bedroom

When you think of essential oils, what does it bring to mind? For me, it brings to mind aroma. The aromatic applications of essential oils are well known. You can use essential oils topically and even internally (be sure to research for quality first!), but the most immediate draw of essential oils is the scent.

Did you know that by inhaling essential oils, you are inhaling the many compounds found within the oils? These compounds are delivered to the olfactory bulb which is part of the brain’s limbic system, also known as the emotional brain.

Odor stimuli in the limbic system then releases a series of brain chemicals. For example, a well-known calming essential oil, lavender triggers the endorphin serotonin, which has a relaxing effect on the mind and body.

So, what am I doing talking about essential oils on The Relationship Blogger? Simple. I use essential oils to improve my personal relationship. Specifically, I mean my intimate relationship.

Your relationship is something to be treasured. Still, it can easily be taken for granted or even feel like the fire has gone out a bit. Essential oils can help spice things up and make your connection even stronger. You want your relationship to not only last, but flourish! If you are looking for more sizzle, make a commitment to your relationship. I’m here to help get you started.

Determining Why Intimacy Feels Blah

First, I want you to take a look at potential reasons you are feeling a loss of spark.

  1. Past relationships can affect how you view sex and intimacy. Were they healthy or unhealthy relationships? What have you unknowingly carried forward?
  2. Health plays a role, especially as we get older. Transitions like menopause, erectile dysfunction and certain medications can interfere with desire. Loss of libido with poor health or increased age is common.
  3. Then we have the business (and busy-ness) of life. It can easily get in the way if we let it–work, home, finances, responsibilities, etc.
  4. And what about kids? Kids can zap of us of our energy and leave us less than interested in sex. After being hung on and grabbed all day by little ones, sometimes the last thing we want at the end of the day is to be touched.
  5. Stress and a lack of sleep is quite common for everyone these days. And this will definitely affect your libido.

Finding Your Perfect Solution

Now let’s look at how we can counteract these causes to improve and increase intimacy. I am going to share my favorite essential oils as well as how they can help. Prepare yourself. I have an oil for everything.

If you are routinely tired or even exhausted let’s look at the quality of sleep you are receiving. Are you sleeping long enough or deeply enough (un-interrupted sleep)? You can make sure you get good quality sleep, by diffusing or applying to your pillow or pulse points before bed. Oils like Lavender, dōTERRA®’s Serenity (Restful Blend), roman chamomile, or cedarwood help promote sound sleep.

If you feel like you are dragging and need something to perk you up. Peppermint is a great essential oil to wake you up and alert all of your senses.

If your hormones are imbalanced, well, no wonder you aren’t in the mood. Getting your hormones back into balance will help us get into the mood more often. Clary sage, dōTERRA®’s Whisper Blend and ylang ylang are good choices for women. For men, clary sage and dōTERRA®’s Purify Blend offer relief and support. To correct and support hormone balance, apply essential oils to the bottoms of the feet and pulse points, take internally under the tongue or in a capsule or diffuse.

Want to tackle the problem more directly? There are essential oils to increase libido for both men and women, such as patchouli, ylang ylang and dōTERRA®’s Whisper Blend. To use, diffuse essential oils and/or apply to pulse points. dōTERRA®’s Inspiring Blend in particular not only helps with low libido, but assists in sexual performance. Diffuse and/ or use aromatically or apply to the bottoms of the feet.

Maybe you are too stressed and can’t settle down. Oils like lavender, dōTERRA®’s Balance Blend, dōTERRA®’s Serenity Blend and vetiver are just a few that can get you to relax. Sometimes you need something to settle you down even knowing that sex will help you release some of that stress. But getting settled down enough to get in the mood could be the problem!

Or maybe pain is an issue. Essential oils like lavender, dōTERRA®’s Deep Blue (Soothing Blend), dōTERRA®’s AromaTouch (Massage Blend), dōTERRA®’s Balance (Grounding Blend), etc. will help.

There are so many things to get in the way, but there truly is an oil to remedy any of them!

Let’s Talk About Sex

So, how do you incorporate these essential oils into your intimate relationship? How do you overcome the issues that get in the way? How can they help you set the mood?

First, I want to mention, through the centuries, essential oils have been used as aphrodisiacs and have been part of love-making. An aphrodisiac is a substance that enhances or stimulates passion.

Using essential oils topically as an aphrodisiac will affect the circulatory, endocrine and reproductive systems. There are essential oils that will warm and raise body temperature thereby increasing circulation which increases arousal.

I mentioned earlier that by inhaling the aroma of essential oils, it will affect and trigger your limbic system. Your limbic system houses sexual behavior and emotions, and will influence both your body’s behavior and response.

 How to Create the Mood: An Essential Guide

One of the first things you want to do is set the mood. Is your bedroom a haven and relaxing get-away from the world? Is it free from clutter, computers, television and distractions? Is it a space that allows you to relax and create a romantic environment?

Light some candles or use a Himalayan salt lamp to create soft lighting to help set the mood. Decide on what essential oils you want to use and set them on your bedside along with a carrier oil of your choice.

OK. let’s get to the good stuff! Which essential oils will enhance intimacy and arousal? What will help get us in the mood or set the mood?

Cinnamon. Cinnamon is a sweet, yet spicy oil. It’s the oil of sexual harmony. It will help you accept your body and embrace your physical attractiveness. It helps nurture a healthy sexuality. It can help strengthen relationships by allowing one to be vulnerable where true intimacy is created! It is also a very warm oil (always dilute when using topically). By being warm, it will increase arousal and circulation.

Clary Sage. Clary Sage helps with balancing hormones. If your hormones are imbalanced, you most likely will have a low libido. It helps to eliminate distractions from the mind, leaving you open. It allows you to shed your inhibitions and increase sexual desire. It is one I like to wear as perfume, because it is also very calming.

Patchouli. The oil of physicality. This essential oil assists you in being fully present in your physical body. It helps with judgements and issues relating to the body. It calms fear and tension, calming the heart and mind for deeper connections between the body and soul. It is an aphrodisiac and it will balance the libido. It is also sexually stimulating and will help remove inhibitions and increase both desire.

Sandalwood. One of my favorites. It calms and stills the mind and promotes an emotional openness needed for intimacy. It also will increase sexual desire and help you get out of the sexual slump that can occur over time.

Whisper. dōTERRA®’s Whisper blend also referred to as the women’s blend and the oil of femininity. This oil blend allows you to get in touch with your feminine side no matter your gender. This blend is extremely sensual and is an aphrodisiac. It will promote confidence, lift your emotions, reduce stress and balance your hormones. I wear this one as a perfume (my husband loves it!). The scent changes with your body chemistry, creating a one of a kind unique aroma when YOU wear it. It is known to draw attention!

Ylang Ylang. This is a powerful aphrodisiac! Again from personal experience and from my clients. This one really spices up the love life! It has a sweet floral scent that increases sexual desire and creates a more erotic experience while yet calming to the body and heart. It helps with impotence and increased sexual response while assisting circulation. 

Finally, I am listing some DIY Blends that are fun and are sure to spice up your love life and bedroom!

Linen Sprays

Exotic Linen Spray (Synduit Recipe)

-15 drops Ylang Ylang

-5 drops Sandalwood

-5 drops Patchouli

-1 oz. Vodka

-1 oz. Purified Water

Combine ingredients in a small, glass spray bottle. Shake well and mist bed to set a provocative mood.

Sensual Sheets (Essential Life Book)

10 drops Sandalwood

10 drops Bergamot

3 drops ginger

3 drops lime

2 drops ylang ylang

Directions: Add essential oils to a spray bottle and fill with water. Spray on bed sheets for a romantic evening.

Spray your linens with this. You won’t want to sleep! And remember that the sense of smell is strongly associated with memory. By creating this romantic aroma and enjoyable experience, when you smell this again, it will stir up the same thoughts, memories and body responses!

Diffuser Blends

Aphrodisiac Blend for Diffusing (Essential Life Book)
1 drop white fir

1 drop cinnamon

1 drop patchouli

1 drop rosemary

1 drop sandalwood

1 drop ylang ylang

Peace and Serenity Blend (Synduit)

-3 drops Patchouli

-3 drops Sandalwood

Night to Remember Blend (Synduit)

-2 drops Cinnamon Bark

-2 drops Patchouli

-2 drops Rosemary

-6 drops Sandalwood

-2 drops Ylang Ylang

Another intimate way to romantically connect with your partner is through the sensual use of massage. I have listed a few recipes that increase arousal as well as connection. You can even use these oils on intimate, sensitive areas! Make sure you have extra coconut or olive oil (or carrier oil of your choice) in case you need to dilute the recipes even further if your partner is extra sensitive.

Massage Blends

Erotic Massage Blend (Essential Life Book)
1/4 FCO

2 drops geranium

1 drop cinnamon

1 drop ginger

1 drop lemongrass

1 drop peppermint

Directions: Mix oils together and apply lightly on genitals. This blend helps to reach and prolong climax.

Aphrodisiac Massage Blend (Essential Life Book)
1/4 cup FCO or unscented lotion

2 drops rose or geranium

3 drops sandalwood

2 drops ylang ylang

3 drops clary sage

Directions: Mix oils together and massage on skin to increase circulation and arousal.

Monkey Business Massage Blend (Synduit)

-2 drops Rosemary

-3 drops of Wild Orange

-2 drops Patchouli

-2 drops Bergamot

-1 ounce Carrier Oil

I haven’t worn perfume in years. I wear my essential oils as perfume and they always get noticed!

DIY Perfumes

For Her to Attract Him:

3 drops of dōTERRA®’s Whisper on the neck or wrists. (Synduit)

For Him to Attract Her:

Apply 2 drops of dōTERRA®’s InTune to the back of the neck right under the hairline. (Synduit)

Perfume Blend for Her (Synduit)

-6 drops of Sandalwood

-3 drops of Ylang ylang

-3 drops Ginger

-10 ml Carrier Oil

Perfume Blend for Him

-6 drops of Sandalwood

-3 drops of Cinnamon Bark

-3 drops Patchouli

-10 ml Carrier Oil

Don’t be afraid to get super creative with some of these fun DIY ideas!

Peppermint-Whisper Personal Lubricant (Synduit)

-½ cup organic extra virgin coconut oil (solid)

-4 drops Peppermint essential oil

-4 drops dōTERRA®’s Whisper essential oil blend

Directions: Whip solid coconut oil on high for 7-10 minutes or until light and fluffy. Whip in essential oils and store in a sealed contact at room temperature.

Now, get your essential oils out and start playfully experimenting. This, in and of itself, will help put some spice into your love life! Enjoy and have fun!

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Products discussed are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease.

By April Brancamp

SHOP Prudish
SHOP Prudish Australia

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