Ghosting, miss communication, lazy mornings together, getting to know someone new and learning their quirks are all the good and bad parts of dating. But what happens when these dates turns into a relationship? What happens when the feelings become real and you start to really care about the person you’re dating?
The scariest part of dating isn’t the first date or worrying if they’re going to ghost you after the third date. It’s what happens when the feelings become real and you really start to care about the person you’ve been dating.
THE SCARIEST PART OF DATING IS BEING VULNERABLE AND OPENING YOURSELF UP TO THE PERSON YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR.
You have to open yourself up to the ultimate fear of rejection. That the person you like so much maybe just doesn’t like you back enough or even at all. Opening yourself up to the possibility that the relationship you thought was thriving, turns out isn’t going anywhere.
While opening yourself up and being vulnerable won’t always end rejection it could in turn propel your relationship further. Opening up and being vulnerable can allow you and your partner to really connect and share how you feel. Either way good or bad being vulnerable in a relationship is scary as hell.
OPENING UP ENOUGH WITH THE FEAR OF REJECTION IS THE HARDEST THING A PERSON CAN DO IN A RELATIONSHIP.
Trusting someone enough to show your vulnerable side is so exciting but ultimately so terrifying because you’re opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. Stripping back those layers to show how you really feel is something that comes easy to very few people. Even the smallest of actions can show your vulnerability and when you show this to someone you have strong feelings for you want them to reciprocate these actions.
WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE FIRSTLY ADMITTING IT TO YOURSELF IS ONE THING BUT ADMITTING IT TO THE PERSON YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR IS A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL.
You are laying all your cards on the table all the while knowing that you could be facing rejection. So what do we do, do we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and truly feel all the love that can come with it? Even if it also means we have to feel all the pain that comes with it too. Or do we close ourselves off never truly opening up to anyone and experience everything that comes with loving and caring for someone?
In her book How To Fail Elizabeth Day has a great line about being vulnerable in relationships and I think it explains vulnerability perfectly. She writes “relinquishing control and making yourself vulnerable are terrifying things to do but the alternative is to shut yourself off from the world and from your experience of it”
As I said above I think this sums up being vulnerable perfectly because there comes a time in your relationship with someone where you simply can’t go any further without opening up. You either have to tell the person how you feel or live with the fact that if you don’t say anything you might never know the real answers. It’s a scary thought opening up to someone and being vulnerable but what’s the alternative never saying how you truly feel and hoping they’ll figure it out themselves.
Being Vulnerable in relationships is not something that comes naturally to anyone it’s something we all have to learn how to be when the time comes. We will all experience vulnerability in relationships at some point we just have to believe in the process. Believe that while it could be a great outcome the bad outcomes can teach us so much about ourselves too. And while it’s scary we will still be okay in the end.