I recently watched What’s Your Number ( completely underrated film in my opinion) and it got me thinking about my number ( sadly Chris Evans isn’t included in that count..). Or more accurately why we define our past sexual relationships in numbers. Why having none or too many is thought of as prudish or slutty. So why do we make such a big deal over it?
Looking back you can usually add up how many partners you’ve had but what qualifies a past sexual partner to be counted. Is it someone you went all the way with or someone who you just had a bit of pre-sex fumblings with.
SO WHY DO WE DEFINE OURSELVES TO A NUMBER? WHY DO WE FEEL IF WE GO OVER A CERTAIN NUMBER IT IS A BAD THING?
If we have to many we’re thought of as slutty or easy. If we have to little we are thought of a prudish or Mary’s.
I remember the episode of How I Met Your mother where Barney slept with 100 women yet he is cheered on but if that was a woman she’d be slut shamed. Why is there a difference between how many people guys get with as opposed to how many women sleep with.
So why when a guy gets another notch on his belt is he deemed a hero? Where as a woman is deemed a slut. How is that fair?
You may be more of a relationship person so you have fewer partners or you may be single and just enjoy sex and want to experience that. Either is fine there is no set rule to who or how many people we are sleeping with.
NOW MORE THAN EVER WE ARE IN THE GENERATION OF THE HOOK-UP CULTURE.
Hooking up is no longer limited to college & university days. It’s a daily occurrence. Where you’re more likely to have a one night stand with the guy you met on a dating app rather than start a serious relationship. Meaning our numbers are now generally higher.
It also begs the question to why people so shocked to learn someone who is vocal about sex has slept with only a handful of people. Just because they talk about sex a lot doesn’t mean they are out sleeping with every person they meet. I think talking about sex and relationships is healthy. It is something I do with a lot of friends but just because I enjoy talking about it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m out every weekend with a different guy.
So whether you’ve slept with 1, 20, 200 or none it doesn’t matter to anyone but you. Don’t define it by a number and most importantly don’t be ashamed of your number.